First of all, thank for you proposing this chance, especially when you are so busy, and I really appreciate it. I know "not much complexity" sounds quite passive aggressive, but taht's not what I meant, and that is really my way of saying it's clear to me; I know what it's talking about and I am confident that I can fully comprehend and analyze it. Unlike you know, for example Dr.strangelove, there are some satire or humour here and there that I may not get. So no, I'm not being passive aggressive, it's my way of saying I am confident. Second, regarding challenge -- TA is not for challenge. I think that is super clear. TA is the final assessment, which is for grades and grades only. I don't care the film. I don't care if it's good or not. It's not about art. It's about grades. I understand you would not want to hear -- trust me, if I'm in your position, I would hate to hear my students say they are doing it just for grades. I would love to encourage them to pursue something beyond grades, and explain to them that grades is just a by-product. I would love to do that. I really appreciate those who try to find meaning and pursue greater goals out of all this, and I used to be one of them. You have no idea how much I love going to school in the past few years. I love proving to the teachers that I can look beyond what they are teaching, I can master them with no efforts, and even go beyond them and challenge them, pushing for a deeper converstion. I used to enjoy that process. It's a game I used to enjoy playing. O But one man cannot spend his entire life playing a game designed by others. I love playing the game and I am good at it, but now I find a better game to play -- my game with my life. I have things to go for apart from the grades. There are so many wonderful things in the world to do and so many wonderful knowledge. I want to learn, like actually learn. What what the school or this curriculum thing does is essentially preventing me from learning and prevent me from growing. It's trying everything to force me to stop thinking, stop learning, and that's why I am frustrated. The system is not treating me like a thinking, learning human. It's cultivating me into something homogeneous and easily replacable by AI. And I am deeply insulted, because the IB is denying me of being a human learner. Back to the point -- I used to enjoy this game, now I'm tired of it because I have more important things to do with my life. That's why the point of the game is reduced to the grades for me. I will not appreciate my IB education, because it teaches me nothing. The only thing I got out of it is the stupid diploma. I don't even want the diploma. But in reality, things seldom work the way you want. I am struggling to convince my mom to let me drop out. Most universities require it. And I do want to go to a good university. Now every one's telling me, since there is nothign you can do, why not just accept it and get the fun out of it, and find meaning even in things that you don't enjoy? Hell I want to. But the things once you see the sky you would not want to stay in the well. That's the source of my tragedy and my frustration. So no, TA is not for challenge for me. It's just something to tick off. What do I want out of your class then? Nothing, really. Ajay you are a really nice person, but I am really sorry and say all these, and please understand, I am only saying this because I know you will not get offended. If I don't do IB today, that's when I want to really talk with you -- about film, about art, about how you truly make a film, about all your experiences, but about EE deadlines, Textual analysis, and comparative studies. Those are stupid stupid terms for me. When I truly want to make a film, a great film that redefines greatness in the history of cinema, or just a film for my personal brand, for my loved ones, or for that unrepressable urge in my heart to make a great film, that's when I want to talk and listen to you. That's when genuine conversations and learnings can happen. Our relationship is so transactional that I hate it. I prefer, if a relationship is meant to be transactional stay transactional. I pay the school that pays you to help me get a 7, and I perform well in front of you so that I get a recommendation letter from you. That's it. End of story. I don't see where art comes in. I don't even see where film comes in. That's where I am frustrated. Now, all what I talked above are big things. Very big stuff and very deconstructvistic. 1. Big stuff and big ideas -- deconstrucvistic -- why there's no point and why I am frustrated 2. Small stuff and realistic stuff -- construvistic -- how can we establish meaning, at least in your space. 3. More about me -- what I am doing with my 62 years rest of my life. The very questions you asked me, what am I really looking for here and what do I want to get out of this experience, is exactly the question I have been struggling to undertand from the very first day I stepped in here. Those are really important questions that few people are thinking about. Do you really understand what you are getting out of teaching for I don't know how many years, except helping students get 7s and receiving the whatever best teacher award? What does that award truly mean to you? Do you find meaning out of your job, or is it that IBO and this school pays you a lot? I know how much you earn working for IBO. So see, that's where I am sort of uncomfrotable with your quesion. If you think i should believe that a 7 the point of all this, and that's what I should be looking for, you right. That's what every one goes for, and that's what this whole instution is telling you to go for. And i kinda of need that 7 too. It's really stupid of me to get a 5 out of that video essay. Well in fact that's the first 5 throughout my two years of IB, and it's the stupidest thing i have ever done in this school. I know what I am going for, and that's exactly source of my frustraiton. Ajay I really appreciate all you do, not only in the class, but also for these conversations, lumeire, TOK and all. I really do. And I sincerely apologize if you find anything offending or distrubing. I really appreciate you lisltening to this, and giving me this opporunity to write down, organize, and make sense of the source of my frustration. Apart from Chris, I have not really talked to any one else. And he is leaving. So next year you will be the only one in this school that understands my situation. And I trust you for whatever that means. I'd like to end this first sharing session by that film poster -- One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I came here, thought this is all a game, and I could have some fun out if and slay the game. But now it's slaying me, trapping me, lobotomizing me. Every time I look at that poster, and look at McMurphy staring up at the ceiling, I think of myself. I am frustrated that 7 is the ceiling for me and I can never go beyond that. Never tell someone to try to enjoy his time in a prison, because he might forget what true freedom tastes like.