## Romantic Relationships, and "Following the Script" A relationship is invisible. You cannot see "love" or "commitment." The Coordination Problem here is: **"Are we currently in the same state of relationship?"** If they are both thinking it, isn't that enough? **No.** Because doubts creep in. ("Does he still love me?" "Is she losing interest?") If Player A thinks they are "serious" but Player B thinks they are "drifting apart," they will mis-coordinate. **The "Script" acts as the Common Knowledge Generator.** - **The Birthday Gift:** When the boy buys the gift, he isn't just giving an object. He is generating a signal. - **The Signal:** "I am still investing resources in this game. I acknowledge the norms of the 'Romance Game.'" - **The Result:** It reaffirms Common Knowledge. "Okay, we are both still playing by the same rules." Common knowledge **removes the exit strategy** and forces commitment -- if we are both clear that we are in a relationship, you can no longer pretend we are just friends, and you need a serious reason to propose a breakup -- you can't just walk away. **When couples "call it out" (Metacommunication):** You mentioned couples who admit "this is just a script" but follow it anyway. This is **High-Level Coordination**. - They are acknowledging: "These rules are arbitrary." - But they also acknowledge: "But if we don't follow them, we lose our mechanism for signaling care." - If the boy stops buying gifts without a prior agreement, the girl doesn't know if he is (A) being philosophically superior or (B) stopping the game (breaking up). Following the script solves that ambiguity.